The Issue

A New Look at An Old Problem

 

Welcome to ‘From Bullied to Brilliant’, a journey into overcoming and moving beyond bullying, aggressive, abusive and challenging relationships.

The book addresses bullying in a rather unusual and unconventional way.  If you feel lost in the story of victimhood and are struggling with a sense of isolation or rejection, let’s have a look at some of the fundamentals:

  1. Bullying is an age-old, worldwide phenomenon which has been in operation since the dawn of time and is NOT increasing. 

  2. Bullying is not exclusive to schools but show up in our homes, families, workplaces, between cultures, races and ideologies. It is commonplace, can be confronting and deeply painful.

  3. Avoiding exposure to bullying in some form during an average lifetime is nigh on impossible.

  4. If you are feeling isolated or rejected as a result of bullying, you belong to a somewhat unwilling, but rather vast majority.

  5. There is no aloneness in the bullying and victimisation story, members of this non-exclusive club have great and inspiring company.

  6. Only the wounded wound. Bullies are invariably coming from a place of insecurity, lack or pain albeit concealed and difficult to decipher.

  7. Bullies are inevitably victims who are lashing out. Generally they are not too keen to have this pointed out to them.

  8. It is not your job to ‘heal’ the bully or show them the error of their ways.

  9. The question you must never ask yourself is “Why am I being bullied?” or “What’s wrong with me?”

  10. The questions you should be asking yourself are “What do I need to do?” or “Who do I need to talk to about this?”

Mastering others is strength

Mastering yourself is true power

Lao Tzu

A multitude of admirable people throughout history have found themselves facing bullying, abuse and intimidation. Strategies to overcome bullying depend partly on the ability to accept that at times we will find ourselves under fire regardless of how ‘nice’ we are as a person or how well we treat others.

The world provides us with all kinds of experiences and a great measure of success or failure depends on our willingness and ability to respond effectively to the challenges we face. It is not what happens to us that defines us, it is how we respond.

Perhaps, like the processes of giving birth, running a marathon, passing important exams, learning a new skill or in fact any great achievement in life, bullying gives you an opportunity to face and overcome the challenge of not being supported, not being loved and not being understood.

Akin to a rite of passage, perhaps this very experience helps you to discover your own sense of self and move beyond the desire to please others.

Is it possible that bullying itself is paradoxically the very thing that causes a catalyst for personal growth and development? Does learning how to overcome and manage bullying actually make you stronger?

Nobody can hurt me without my permission

Mahatma Gandhi

Why do bullies bully? Because they can.

You may not have control over whether or not a bully shows up in your life and you may never truly understand why they chose to bully you, but you certainly do have control over how you feel and what you do about it.

Anne Frank (2)

To receive negative, unwanted aggressive, derisory, unpleasant, or hurtful attention, is not an indication of your value or worth.

Perhaps this very attention is instead more an indication of your latent talents and the seeds of greatness that lie within you.

Maybe this is the reminder you need that you have the potential to differentiate and step into your own power.

Could it be the bullying will give you some space and time to figure out who you are and what you really want?

Perhaps the bullying is a gift.

or